A truly objective scientists tear

A scientist tear 
A true scientist has 180° objective vision. 

 You can test the state of ‘true objectivity’ by the radius of the curvature of the scientists’ tear. The curvature of any truly objective scientists’ tear adapts its refractive index to the circumstances at hand: at any given moment, it offers a 180° angle of incidence on the vertical and horizontal. Besides this, a truly objective scientist can pivot between equatorial and polar vision. This gives a scientist clear, inclusive vision on any subject.

 I guess this is common knowledge, however, here is something maybe not everyone knows: if you know the exact date and time of the extraction of the truly objective scientists’ tear, and know the hemisphere the tear hails from, you can deduce the exact location of where the scientist shed the tear! 
 This is because any truly objective scientists’ tear not only facilitates true objective vision, by adapting to curve of the angle of incidence, but also hetero-normatizes the chrominance of the lights’ wavelengths, to make sure there are no unwanted colour aberrations in the truly objective scientists perception. A truly objective scientists’ tear polarises the light to precisely index any frequency changes in the spectre of chrominance, given any moment of the day. So whether its Sunset or Twilight, the truly objective scientists’ tear adapts, and in doing so, provides an objective, untainted perspective, no matter the time of day or geolocation. When the tear is shed, these geospecific attributes of the tear will remain. 

 If you ever find yourself in the situation where you have to test the true objectivity of a scientist, abstract their tears! And if it is a truly objective scientist, don’t worry about making them cry! As a matter of fact, because of the state of the world, any remotely objective scientist is crying at any moment of the day anyway.

*A truly objective scientists tear is a holy grail
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